Dürglewägler

Presented by: Faceless MegaCorp – “Innovating Beyond Reason™”

The Dürglewägler™ is here. Not simply a vehicle… not merely a deterrent… but a conceptual weapon of mass destruction, forged from the mind’s darkest, most deranged corridors. Developed in collaboration with the Department of Unknowable Forces™, the Durglewagler defies physics, sanity, and causality itself.

Key Features (Pending Classification):

• Seven-Dimensional Motion System™: Wheels that spin in seven directions simultaneously, bending local space-time to disorient enemies and trickster gods alike.

• Hyper-Skull Defense Array™: Organic and reactive. No, we won’t explain further.

• Dream-Cloak Exhaust: Emits an enigmatic fog that scrambles thought patterns and disrupts astral surveillance.

• Durability (Cosmic Grade): Impervious to divine litigation, metaphysical sabotage, and most forms of eldritch interference.

• Power Source: Classified. Sustainability guaranteed (until it isn’t).

Warning:

This product is considered both a deterrent and a liability. Prolonged exposure may induce:

• Reality distortion

• Uncontrollable laughter

• Sudden existential clarity (use at your own risk)

By purchasing the Durglewagler™, you agree to all known and unknown consequences, including temporal anomalies, paradox spirals, and the wrath of Pyggylyg the Infinite Trickster.

Faceless MegaCorp™ – Own the Impossible.™

Legal Notice:

Faceless MegaCorp™ assumes no liability for any and all consequences arising from the acquisition, activation, operation, or abandonment of the Durglewagler™. This includes, but is not limited to, temporal dislocations, paradox feedback loops, existential collapse, incursions by multi-dimensional entities, accidental weaponization of local reality fields, or direct confrontations with deities, demigods, trickster spirits, or cosmic legal representatives.

By purchasing this product, the user acknowledges and accepts full responsibility for any resulting phenomena or disruptions to the material or immaterial planes. Faceless MegaCorp™ further disclaims all implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, or adherence to conventional laws of physics. All sales are final. Proceed at your own metaphysical peril.